So much has happened. So much has changed. I’m thinking (praying) a lot about the people infected with this horrible virus—fighting for their lives in many cases. I’ve had to purposely limit my exposure to the news, such as, not watching it 24/7 as it’s driving up my anxiety level and making me less present—less grateful, and most certainly, less fun to be around (just ask Steve).
Between the fearful moments, I try to paint. A good distraction, right? One might think so, but I’m painting weird stuff. Like my dreams. I’m dreaming weird things as well. These are very strange, and very real times. A yo-yo of emotions that, by the end of the day, have us all worn out. It’s a war we’re fighting. Unknown, and unseen. And, it will change us all. I’m trying to fight the deer-in-the-headlights instinct to freeze. Trying to push along and mark the seemingly unending time in a way that, when looking back, (God willing) I’ll be able to revisit some beautiful blessings and miracles that occurred.
Thinking forward about how I want to look back after this hellish pandemic passes, makes me hope that I'll look back on a few positive things. It forces me to lean on faith. And being faithful that we’ll get through it, leads to gratitude and peace of mind. Which in turn, helps me improve the quality of this waiting game. It’s a beautiful circle. And it’s improving my day.
How will you remember this time? Have you given any thought to what it will look like? How it might change the way you react or embrace the people and things you cherish? These questions are helping me unlock the frozen-in-fear feelings. They provide some moments of peace. They give me permission to look for happy miracles. They provide an incentive to go the extra mile to bring a smile. It might even bring a lot of us closer together.
Lots of questions, hopefully it’s food for thought for anyone else frozen in fear. Don’t feel guilty being happy or being grateful. Share it.
Love, peace and good health,
K